Well, bitches?

Hey, people are supposed to be asking questions. Thus the title, Ask Andy.
That being said, I will continue to post from life/the archives.

Response 16 - Our life

Lauren: 'Cowboys ate alot of beans right? How often do you think they gambled and lost?'

Andy: 'Like, all the time. Why do you think ass-less chaps were invented?'

Response 15 - from the archives: first box 4

Q: "Dear Andy,
Please use this tissue on your nose so it isn't wasted, ok? - Heart, Devra"
A: " Dear Devra,
I threw it away."

and

Q:"Is hacking the planet really a viable option?"
A:"If you believe in the power of roller-blades, nerds, and the 90's, then yes. Otherwise, maybe."

Response 14 - from the archives: First box 3

Q: "Dear Andy,
What is the best thing? - me"
A: "Dear Me,
To spill the blood of your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the laments of their women."

and

Q: "Dear Andy,
How much is too much? - Warned Wally"
A: "Dear WW,
There is no too much. Only just enough."

Response 13: From the archives - the first box 2

Q: "Dear Andy,
      When should I pad up?"

A: "When someone ducks out."

Also,

Q: "Dear Andy,
      I like a girl but I'm not sure if she likes me back. How do I know if she's "the one"?"
         -Lost Lover
A: "Dear Lost Lover,
      Fuck her and see what happens. Also, she is not the one. Deal with it."

Response 12: From the archives - the first box 1

Question: When will I be ready?

Answer: You will know when the time is right.

Also from said archives,

Question: Dear Andy, Can I ask someone else a question?
Answer: No. No, you may not.

Response 11

Question: Are there mushrooms in the cream of mushroom soup? (posted by a follower of the blog, not a repeat of customer question)

Answer: Vietnam.